E: I find it hilarious that so many people on dating sites and apps think that "Hi" is the epitome of conversational opening gambits ( Read more... )

Von: Actually achieving my dream of seeing the sun blotted out from the sky ( Read more... )

V: I smoke so much that every time I get a new lung tumor within a week the tumor dies of cancer.

S: When you're off i Getty pod at 2

V: Wot?

Click to view

C: Yay!

( Read more... )

V: Officially about 14% of the human population of the entire planet suffers from some form of mental illness.

S: Not surprised in the slightest. Lol

V: Personally, I'm pretty sure nearly 50% of the population suffers from Y-Chromosome Deficiency, which is the leading cause of insanity in humans.

S: That figure sounds a little more like it.

(Note: I can't spell worth a damn. Then again I went to school in Florida, so I'm lucky I can even read.)

V: A woman came into our bar by herself, ordered a drink and - for ten minutes now - has NOT pulled out a smartphone. Call the MIB, we got a space alien here ( Read more... )

V: I need to do some random drive-bys in Berkley to drive the property values down enough to where I afford it. Or arson. Which would you suggest ( Read more... )

V: So a girl went to a music festival, went backstage, met 20+ musicians & only gave one blowjob behind her b/f's back. By Michigan standards that's "monogamous ( Read more... )

V: I'm going to eat soup now. Plan something engaging for the weekend. :D
C: Any suggestions?
V: We can see awful bands at Lager House. Hang out in Hamtramistan. Discover a new club. Dress in panda costumes and terrify Royal Joke.
C: Lol!!!!! :) we would need panda costumes for that.....
V: You work at Noir! Surely this is within your power ( Read more... )